so frustrated.

since most of my posts have been happy and informative and all of that wonderfully fabulous happy stuff, now it's time to let out my frustrations with life.

i am homesick. as much fun as im having, the people im meeting and the adventures im embarking on, i miss home. i want to cuddle up in my bed in my bedroom in blaine and walk upstairs and hang out with my parents and call my friends and talk without being charged up the ass for it. i want to hug my family and mikey and jessica and katrina and everyone. but i cant. i want to go to a house party or bar in dinkytown and hang out with my roommates from before. today im not living in the present, but very much longing for the past or what could be.

and on top of that, it's been a while since ive worried about what people think of me and now im wondering what certain people here do. certain people who i have developed an interest in but cannot do anything about. and its frustrating the hell out of me although it should definitely not be.

and my throat hurts. its been three weeks and my frackin cough won't go away.

but yesterday i hiked up a mountain with kristen as my guide and jeff, dave, and seb as my fellow hikees. it was exhausting and difficult but i made it! and then we had a picnic at the top of the mt and then trekked down through the forest which was a bit difficult but definitely fun. the night was low key after that: dinner @ unibar, homework and LOST with seb, late night convos with kristen and jeff, and then sleep.

now im going to shenzhen with dave and hopefully today will be a good day. ill make it one.

but im still frustrated.